Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Learn to let go
Do random Acts of kindness
Happiness is only ever now
Appreciate both sides of the coin
- Have a dream
Accept what is
Laugh, dance, smile
Noted writer 🙂 Tom Sparrow, writes regularly for Dalyan Times (a local paper written in English and Turkish) in which his column usually fills the whole page! Many people compliment Tom on his articles and say they look forward to reading them or ask what the next issue will be about but there’s no planning in advance, it depends what’s happened since he wrote the last article. I (Joanne) have suggested we write a His ‘n Her column because my version of some events that he writes about is much nearer the truth! But knowing how some of Tom’s stories change over the years, a few embellishments here and there, I guess the truth might not always be as interesting or as much fun to read about!
So watch this space, back copies will be uploaded soon and new articles written in due course! Below is the first one and at the end you can click on his most recent jottings.
INTRODUCTION TO TOM’S JOTTINGS
A Turkish Experience – June 2002
Arriving at the old Dalaman airport was as confusing as trying to find an apostrophe on a Russian keyboard because it was 3.30 in the morning, there were the shouts from the tour operators and taxi drivers trying to find their clients as well as a plethora of name boards and hotel hoardings. After dodging the smoking throngs of those who have been unable to smoke for four and half hours you are channelled into the area for selecting your destination and hotel. Paying the ten pounds visa fee seemed a cheap way to get into fresh air of beach side Dalaman.
So how was it that I had found myself amongst a crowd of sun seeking, beer swilling British holiday makers in a country I had never visited or wanted to visit in my 59 years travelling. Well of course the answer is love.
Joanne and I had met on a Massage Course in my home town of Leigh in Lancashire. The teacher asked me to practice some moves on her and once the hands started weaving their strokes around the torso she was mine. I resisted her of course but at my age the mind is weaker than the body and I agreed to consider her offer of a few months in Turkey practising our massage techniques together on anyone passing through Dalyan.
It was the beginning of June 2002 and Joanne had been in Dalyan for a couple of weeks to sort out an apartment and try to get some customers. She had been in the village the year before so knew the people to contact. This was the area that borders the Aegean Sea with the Southern Mediterranean coast which we intended to use as a base for any future travels and work. I was met by Isa, who was one of the university students working in Dalyan, and on the 30 minute drive from the airport to Dalyan he gave me a brief background of what he did working for a local tour operator. This entailed taking the customers on various trips, giving them a talk, making them laugh and getting them all back to the hotel without any losses. I thought “I can do that, give us a job.” Little did I know that’s what I would do for the next four months.
The airport complex quickly gave way to the typical Turkish urban town of Dalaman which is not very pleasant to the eye but has the best Turkish Hamam. After passing through the Olive, Orange and Lemon groves we quickly arrived in Ortaca which is the nearest main town to Dalyan, and hence to the village itself. The moon was full, the stars where shining and reflecting in the river, and I thought “ yes this looks like my kind of town”
Joanne had sorted out an apartment very near the centre of Dalyan, called Kecici, and after finding this in the breaking dawn I quickly appreciated seeing Joanne again. Sleep was no problem after the air journey and the excitement of being in Turkey.
The first morning was brilliant sunshine and my first priority was to buy a hat to stop the sun melting my bald spot. The first shop we came to had a range of hats that looked like Dunn and Sons. I selected one and then realised I had no Turkish currency to pay for it. The owner said, “No problem, come back, pay later!” This is typical of the Turkish people’s attitude towards tourists, they are very trusting and have good memories. We decided to go to the beach, which is a 40 minute boat ride from the village. At this stage all my senses of sight, sounds and smell were being re-tuned. The journey through the delta, to Turtle beach, was idyllic. The boats moored at the lakeside of the beach and a quick walk brings you to the most beautiful sea vista you could possibly think off. We quickly took off our shoes and walked along the beach to the other end called Iztuzu, seven kilometres away. After lunch at the Iztuzu end of the beach we then proceeded to walk back towards the boats. This was a marvellous introduction to Dalyan and its environs. The season was in full swing and the beach whilst full at both ends was relatively empty in the middle stretch where we had a swim in the silky water the temperature just right.
By the time we arrived back at the apartment there was no time for pleasantries since a friend of Joanne’s was arriving. This was Chris who had completed a Reflexology Massage course at the same time as Joanne and who now would join us in setting up a massage centre. Since the apartment only had one bedroom we sorted out a bed settee for her in the kitchen. Also the mosquito season was in full swing so various hanging nets were positioned through the lounge and kitchen areas. It reminded me of sleeping at my Grandmothers after a wedding or walking day, when all the children slept in one double bed and all the adults found settees and floor space wherever they could. There was only a toilet at the bottom of the yard so the object was to pee quietly in the potty and don’t stand in it on the way back to bed. Happy days!
When Chris arrived there was the usual catching up of information between the girls and then we were off to discover Dalyan town and pinpoint its many restaurants and drinking establishments. Within a short time I was questioned by a few Turkish men for my reason to be there. It turned out that these were the guys from the year before who had assumed they were this years studs. It took me several weeks to show there was a new guy in town.
Every Friday Joanne did a “12 island cruise” and massaged throughout the day on the cruise clients. Whilst I was supposed to go on this first cruise it did clash with the England v Argentina world cup football match so I gladly volunteered to meet some clients in town on the Friday afternoon. After seeing the first half of the match I quickly met the customers and whisked them back to the Captain’s Bar to see the end of the match and celebrate a famous victory. The hand of God does not strike every time.
The Captain’s Bar is ideally located on the main street and is managed by a very sad Turkish Danny Devito character and his even smaller wife. Why they have a bar four feet tall when they are only five feet makes you wonder. She meticulously serves copious amounts of beer whilst he keeps tabs and operates the Jewish piano (the till). It is called Captains Bar because he, Mustafa, was a film star in the 1960s but he was always the captain of the various ships which sailed into and out of Dalyan made to look like a sea port. ‘Hmm’. Perhaps he is related to Danny.
After a weekend of getting to know people and places around Dalyan we quickly had to change apartments since the tourists wanted the best ones and we were allocated another apartment quite near the town centre. This seemed a disappointment initially since the swimming pool was not in use and the road to the apartment was poor. However, this turned out a godsend over the season because the area was very quiet and we had beautiful views of the surrounding mountains.
The Mehtap Otel is where Joanne and Chris stayed the previous year. The hotel was operated by a long haired Turkish romeo named Kamuran and his lovely wife Hulya, they have a little boy Deniz-alp who entertains the guests for most of the day. This tended to be our meeting point with many guests and the weekly barbeque became an important part of our calendar.
So our weeks consisted of Island Cruises doing short half hour massages and plenty of snorkelling and swimming. Meeting customers in the various eating establishments and giving them advice became our norm. Life was good the work was interesting and we were earning more than we spent, so not surprising we talked about living in Dalyan full time.
Dalyan, like all holiday abodes, has its fair smattering of British ex-pats who we met at different stages. There was Colleen who worked for one of the hotels and operated the internal information system, but also made a tasty curry, then there was Sue and Ali a British girl partnered with a Bulgarian who operated the diving trips and also sold diving gear and houses. This is not unusual since everyone in Dalyan seems to be an estate agent either selling houses or land. Unfortunately you never know who owns the land or house because the land deeds are suspect. If not forged or photocopied they are split between all members of a family and everyone must agree to sell.
Throughout June the world cup was taking place and everyday there was a big match for some nationality or another. We all supported the Turks in their matches and the play off match with Senegal was memorable for the extra time goal they scored which meant they went to the semi-final against England or Brazil. As their player scored that winning goal the noise was deafening and the speed with which the whole population of Dalyan got into their cars and sounded horns and waved flags and eventually gathered at the main traffic island for the town was unforgettable. A JCB on the central island stopped all traffic and the dancing, waving of flags, singing, hugging, cracking of champagne and raki bottles being opened, was there for all to see including the local police. However within 2 hours everything had settled back to normal, no trouble, no fighting and the town had settled into its Saturday evening routine of eating and getting the tourists to spend money.
As we now know Brazil beat England and Turkey faced Brazil in the semi-final. On this particular day we were along the coast of Turkey near Patara and we watched this match in an isolated restaurant alongside a fast flowing river. Joanne was the only woman amongst 60 or 70 Turkish supporters. Fortunately we had our Turkish t-shirts on and this was particularly appreciated by the Turks. I eventually swapped mine for a Russian jersey after they lost to Brazil.
The reason we were in Patara was to meet another friend of Joanne’s called Tina who was having a holiday with her friend Lorna doing some deep sea and night time diving. We agreed to stay at their hotel in Hisaranu this is the nearest you will get to Blackpool abroad anywhere. To walk down the main street and pass all the drinking dens named after TV programmes or famous people such as the Rovers Return, Beckham’s Bar, Queen Vic etc needs to be seen, heard and smelt to be appreciated or otherwise. We went to Blackpool every year for our holidays and I could not think of anywhere in the world which could be better. The pleasure beach, circus , piers and Stanley Matthews. What could be better. Well, I found it Hisaranu, Blackpool with sunshine.
By taking visitors around Dalyan we quickly learned more of the politics and inter-reaction between all the various factions in the town. For instance the boatmen don’t like the restaurateurs, the restaurateurs don’t like the gift shops and the gift shops have conflict with the hotel owners. However they all appreciate how between them they make a good holiday for the visitors and extract whatever cash they can.
The end of the season came too quickly and we stayed till the end of November to test the winter weather. We liked it so there and then we decided to get married the next year on the beach.
NIK & EVA SPEAKMAN: from the highly successful TV programme in the UK “A Life Coach Less Ordinary” and they are extraordinary and achieve amazing results working with issues such as fears and phobias – I have seen them in action, seen them cure fears and phobias in a matter of minutes! I was fortunate to attend a seminar in November 2008 for a select number of therapists. Nik and Eva are proof positive that Your Life Can Be Fantastic Too, they are passionate about their lives and work; being with them you can’t help but benefit from their upbeat personalities and their positive energy vibes too.
THE SPEAKMANS HAVE FINALLY RELEASED THEIR OWN DVD!
Join Nik and Eva Speakman in this entertaining and informative instructional DVD set which shows both therapy sessions at their practice at Stubley Hall and during one of their live ‘YOUR LIFE CAN BE FANTASTIC TOO’ seminars. Observe Nik and Eva as they work with patients with issues ranging from a knife victim harbouring a 16 year terror of knives to various addictions, including chocolate. In this DVD set Nik and Eva share with you their philosophies and experiences of working with fears, phobias, OCD’s and addictions together with offering advice and information on how most phobias are created and how they can also be successfully eliminated. DVD1: Chapter 1, Anything Is Possible. Chapter 2, How fears & Phobias develop. Chapter 3, Phobia to ice & heights. Chapter 4, Phobia to fruit & Vegatables. Chapter 5, Fear of knives. Chapter 6, Fear of Heights. DVD 2: Chapter 1, How our brain perceives food. Chapter 2, Crisp addiction. Chapter 3, Food addictions. Chapter 4, Supressing a Craving. Chapter 5 Chocolate addiction. Chapter 6, Addiction to cigarettes. Chapter 7, I cannot walk on pavement cracks.
YOUR LIFE CAN BE FANTASTIC TOO
As a Therapist I highly recommend their book, even I learned something and found the book easy to read and understand. You’ll easily be able to put into practice many of their techniques, ideas and suggestions to heal, change and transform your life.
Having read Isabel Losada’s book A beginners guide to changing the world which taught which filled a rather large gap regarding my knowledge of the situation in Tibet and a little more about the Dalai Lama (I have seen the film 7 years in Tibet and Tom is interested in the Tibet issues so he has explained some of the Tibet and China story), has inpired me to learn more, hence I have listed the Dalai Lama’s book below:
I highly recommend you watch the clip of Jill Bolte Taylor talking about her stroke. Jill had the opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: one morning, she realised she was having a massive stroke. She tells us: Oh my gosh, I’m having a stroke! I’m having a stroke! And in the next instant, the thought flashed through my mind, this is so cool! Jill felt that she had reach Nirvana!
“When the shower droplets beat into my chest like little bullets, I was harshly startled back into…reality,” she writes of that first morning. “As I held my hands up in front of my face and wiggled my fingers, I was simultaneously perplexed and intrigued.
“Wow, what a strange and amazing thing I am. What a bizarre living being I am. Life! I am life! I am a sea of water bound inside this membranous pouch. Here, in this form, I am a conscious mind and this body is the vehicle through which I am ALIVE! I am trillions of cells sharing a common mind. I am here, now, thriving as life. Wow! What an unfathomable concept! I am cellular life, no — I am molecular life with manual dexterity and a cognitive mind!”
Take a look at Jill’s presentation: click on the coloured bar below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU or check out Oprah’s website where you will find a series of interviews with Oprah about Jill’s experience and her book, A Stroke of Insight. It’s inspirational, funny and emotional too – a whole bag of emotions in fact!
She has also written a book about this experience:
Are you aware how many excuses you make for the situation you are currently in, the life you have now? We often say things like “This is who I am”, “This is what I do”, “I can’t change”, “A leopard never changes it’s spots” … how many excuses can you list that you tell yourself every day? It might be about not being able to lose weight and we say things like “It’s the menopause”, or “It’s because I’ve had children”, “It’s my age”, “Losing weight is difficult”, “I’ve lost weight before and always put it back on (and some more), so what’s the point in trying again?”
Well Wayne Dyer will show you that your excuses are what stop you getting what you want! We have excuses for being ill “It runs in the family”, “It’s in the genes” and yet it’s been proven (The Biology of Belief – Bruce Lipton) that our beliefs ’cause’ our illnesses! So why not heal yourself now, change and transform your life by implementing STOP THE EXCUSES!
We have a copy of Wayne’s book at Spectrum so take the opportunity to realise what excuses you make for preventing you from leading the life you truly want!
BYRON KATIE: transformed her life from being depressed for 10 years, not getting out of bed for the last 2 and waking up one day to realise that feeling the way she did was her choice, it was only her thoughts that caused her to be depressed! From that wake up call Katie developed The Work and in this book she repeatedly shows and proves that it works and how! You will read many case studies that will no doubt resonate with many aspects of your own life. You too can truly transform your life, change your perceptions of your past, present and perceived future, find peace, happiness and peace.
Are you living your life or someone else’s, constantly thinking what other people should and shouldn’t do? Do you blame others for the way you feel and for the life you are living? You may be surprised to discover that “the finger of blame” should be pointing at yourself! It’s a very different way of working but it does work. My husband and I have used The Work to heal many aspects of our lives, in particular relationships, past hurts and financial concerns. I would say we use it every day of our lives now, it has certainly made a huge difference to the way we think and feel. We have both benefited in many ways which has had a knock on effect with many other relationships too.
Another book of Katie Byron’s I would recommend is Loving What Is: Basically what is is and if you argue with that (argue with reality) you are insane! And she’s right but to understand why you need to read this book!
I NEED YOUR LOVE – IS IT TRUE?
I have only just read this book (May 2009) and have to say just reading it has helped me and I can’t wait to put into practice some of the exercises. I didn’t realise I still had issues that needed healing, or that I (we / most people) behave, say and do things, to get love, approval, appreciation, respect and a whole host of other wants and needs, from other people. If we learn to accept what is is, then we can learn to love ourselves and set ourselves free, free to love others, for who or what they are, with no conditions attached. This book will teach you true unconditional love.
Tom and I are learning to accept what is is, apparently if you don’t then you are insane! Why argue with reality? What good will it do you arguing with what is? If you only ever read one self help book, then this is it!
How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Life: by Anthony Robbins, a Master of NLP and other self (life) improving techniques that you can use for your personal Stress Management, or even to detox your mind of all negative thoughts and feelings.
Even though I was a Therapist when I read this book and found EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to be the ultimate healing tool, I still learned a lot of useful information and, I’d go so far as to say, healing techniques to change my mind, therefore transform my life. Yes Really. In particular I learned that subconsciously we create beliefs, rules and values by which we live for example Love might be a high on your value list and you think a sign of being loved is to receive a text message from your boyfriend first thing every morning. So how do you feel when you wake and there is no text message? Initially you might be concerned or even worried, wondering what has happened to your boyfriend, or you might start to doubt his love for you, that he doesn’t care, think “why is he doing this to me” … and so your negative thoughts cause you upset, hurt, anger, frustration, you can’t concentrate on anything but your negative thoughts and, therefore, can’t function normally.
I know this happens to people and in many other ways too in several areas of their lives. If we could only realise that the rules (conditions) we set to achieve our values need to be achievable by ourselves, not someone else, otherwise we are setting ourselves up to not only fail but also to cause ourselves unnecessary emotional pain.
This is a MUST book to help you take control of your life!
This was the first book written by Anthony Robbins when he was about 25 and already a huge success working with world leaders, running courses and seminars in addition to helping people on a one to one basis. His knowledge, understanding and passion for NLP is tremendous. It might not be an easy read for some people but if you absorb the information, do the exercises contained in this book, practice every day of your life, you can change and transform your life beyond belief. I know because I’ve done it! Tom (who is 65 now) can’t believe what he’s learning at his age and both of us have truly benefited from this new found knowledge (the book was written over 20 years ago) which we have implemented into our lives and are constantly trying to improve all areas of our lives.
Also, if you invest in some of Anthony’s motivational CD’s it will be the best money you have ever spent, your health and wealth can improving, following Anthony Robbin’s instructions (modelling him to use NLP jargon) your life can reach beyond your wildest dreams. Get out of bed earlier, do the Power Walk, change your language, values and beliefs, set some goals and take the first steps towards them. If you were guaranteed not to fail what would you aim for.
My aim this year (2009) is to do a fire walk – part Anthony Robbins’ seminar Unleash The Power Within. What is your goal for this year? Also, the next book on my wish list is:
Our lives have been transformed since Tom and I met, using a variety of therapies, such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) techniques, many used by Nik and Eva Speakman although they have created their own too. Plus books, DVD’s and audio CD’s. Why not take a step towards YOUR healing journey and order your own copies now although of course you can read, watch or listen to what we’ve got at Spectrum when you holiday here! Absorb, implement and enjoy, creating a life of bliss, like we have. We really appreciate being able to live in Dalyan, Turkey, during the summer months and then travel to Australia each winter and stay there for 5-6 months at a time. Also we are extremely grateful to have the tools to heal ourselves mentally, emotionally and physically every day of our lives. You just need to learn what these tools are and reading some of these books or listening to the CD’s will be a starting point.
A brilliant inspirational book that if you put into practice will make a difference covering such topic as:
and so much more, a small book with a big impact – you have a choice whether to follow these rules, or not, but I recommend you do!
If someone can be traumatized in 30 seconds,
why can’t they be healed in a day,
an hour a minute? Rick Wilkes
If you feel you don’t have the time or money, then you will be pleased to know that we can help you to make changes sooner than you might believe is possible ( read our testimonials). Using tried and tested therapies & techniques that are safe, natural and perhaps, more importantly, permanent you maybe be surprised to discover that you will save money!
As you will see from Dr Callahan’s comments ( a revolutionary Psychologist the founder of Thought Field Therapy click here to read more), results are achieved in minutes, hours and days. Compare this to the weeks, months or even years using the old fashioned, traditional psychology methods. Methods that not only aren’t always successful but can be expensive considering the time it can take – he took 18 months to heal a client who had already been in therapy years before she came to him.
A Mind Harmony 4 Life healing holiday means there is no need for you to spend years studying, reading, researching and attending courses like we have done, spending many thousands of pounds searching for the best. During your healing holiday for life, we’ll simply share with you the best of what we’ve learned and used successfully on ourselves, family, friends, colleagues and clients too. In addition to transforming aspects of your life, during the time you spend with Joanne and Tom Sparrow, your Personal Life Coach Team, you will return home knowing how to apply many of these therapies and techniques on any future issues that may arise. One of our clients said Mind Harmony 4 Life is invaluable and that was after her first session! She said her partner noticed the change in her immediately (these changes saved their relationship), others noticed too and commented on her calmness, self esteem, confidence and courage, plus her renewed passion for life. WOW!
We can teach you to quickly and permanently improve your health using EFTfor example to cure headaches, migraines, PMT, BP, back, neck and shoulder pain, or use NLP to improve your self esteem, confidence or even remove fears, phobias and addictions. Wouldn’t that be fantastic to be able to do that for yourself, anytime, anywhere? If there is any aspect of your life that causes you emotional and physical pain do you want to know how to prevent it?
You must take responsibility for your own health issues but using these techniques you could avoid the need to waste time visiting your GP who would probably only prescribe medicine, which costs you money and doesn’t always heal you – it certainly doesn’t get to the root cause of your problem. But if the medicine doesn’t heal you, how long will you continue to suffer? Maybe you will lose time because you feel ill mentally and emotionally, so aren’t able to spend quality time with family and friends. You might even find it necessary to take time off work due to stress, depression, tension, headaches and migraines which makes you vulnerable to losing your job, or simply lowers your income. How much can you endure until you try an alternative method? Health must be the one of the top values to possess in our lives, so why not take control of your own life and learn how to heal yourself?
Mind Harmony 4 Life can be fun too, we want you to understand how negativity causes our problems, hence the emphasis but remember Laughter is the best medicine!